a friend...a jealousy...a hate...

i have a 'cool' friend..who has a 'cool' attitude...n has a 'cool' mouth...

i assumed that she is one of my closest friend, who knows a lot about me...

so, i shared my love's story to her...

i dont usually shared my love's story to her...ever since we had this conversation last year...

her: afen, i want to tell u something...im happy...so i hope u r happy with me too...

me: u r my friend, so of coz i will be happy with u if u r happy...im so excited...so tell me...

her: well, my bf is a pure Singaporean...

me: really??? woow....congratulations my friend...im so happy with u...so tell me more...

her: hehe thanks afen...i knew u will be happy...even if ur future bf is sabahan...

me: huh?? what do u mean even if my future bf is sabahan??

her: well, u know me right...i dont want to have a bf/fiance/husband from sabah....its ssooo euw...i want someone different...but it suits u tho...not me...

me: hehe i wont mind at all if my future bf/fiance/husband comes from sabah...as long as we're in love then we're ok...

her: hehe thats why it suits u...but not me...

we talked about her current relationship for about an hour...the way she talks, really annoys me...i cant accept when she said that sabahan guy is so euw, she dont want any of them...but dont she remember that her father and brother are pure sabahan too?? well, she's been in singapore since 2009 (i guess) and she'd already changed...she forgot where she comes from...if she is living farther than that, then i guess she will be forgetting malaysia as well...but she is my friend so whatever she is, i can still accept her...

then, we chat on monday...for catching up...we r soo damn happy at first...she is still with the singaporean guy..they r so madly deeply in love...

then, she asked me if i have a bf or not...at first i dont want to tell her...so i denied...but she keeps on asking...n telling me how beautiful love is...then, i told her about my gra geal mo chroi...and here is her reaction...

her: omg....i cant believe it...from scotland??

me: yeah...from scotland...

her: what??? do u want to be an english whore now???

me: english whore???!!!! watch what you're typing my friend...
her: hey, i mean it...u r an english whore now...

me: stop joking ok...

her: afen, im not joking here...u r a slut...

me: dont be such a shit...i am not an english whore n i am not a slut...what makes u think that??

her: what else a malaysian woman wants from an english guy??? his money...

me: i had never asked money from him before...

her: dont be ridiculous afen...i know u...u will never suits him...only sabahan guy will...u just want his money...n u just want to relocate to scotland...euw...i dont wanna have a friend like u...english whore...

then she sign off...

30 mins later, im still blur...im not sure what had happened to her...im so pissed when she called me an english whore...

is it my fault that i fall in love with an english guy??

am i an english whore?? 

i told my gra geal mo chroi...and this is his reaction...

my gra geal mo chroi: ur friend has never spoke or met me before...and now she judges me...judges u...judges us...loving u is more important than sex and money...im sorry for my next words, but your friend has a mouth fully loaded with shit...she's jealous with u...

me: but she is my friend...

my gra geal mo chroi: i know...now she reveals her true self...and that true self of hers will be hers forever...she will never changed...

me: i know she is bitchy sometimes, but i still accept her bcoz she is my friend...

my gra geal mo chroi: r u a slow learner??

well...im not a slow learner...but i do believe in second chance...but, i did gave her many chances before...but calling me an english whore?? thats unacceptable n unforgivable...

# to my dear friend, u should accept who am i with...just bcoz u have a singaporean lover doesnt mean u r on top of others n u can say negative things to ur friends...i dont have any intention to beat u in terms of who has a non-sabahan bf...when love comes, even hell can meet heaven and so is scotland n sabah...btw, dont forget where u come from coz u have ur family there knowing u, waiting u, missing u n loving u...u have to throw away your euw attitude...i may be ur friend in mere future...but i wont be the same...thanks to u...cheers...

scottish rings for scottish wedding....

wedding....wedding...wedding...

im sorry if u r bored...but im here to tell u every details of my wedding...well, my wedding actually will be around 2@4 yrs from now...

my gra geal mo chroi said, i have to finish my study first before moving in to aberdeen...

as u know, i do this for my very best friend....so friend here's what my rings will be...

3 type of rings - engagement ring, wedding ring, and traditional scottish rings...

above pic - engagement ring...not exactly like that..prefer a simple ring for engagement..but purple is a must...

above pic - wedding ring...no silver coz i allergic to it...no golden gold coz i hate it...so white gold it is...with a complex pattern...

in scottish wedding tradition, there will be three different rings for different occasions...but it all depends on the couple whether to follow the traditions or not...

1st ring is the fede ring...contained decoratively inscribed sentiment - e.g Gra Anois Go Deo (love, now and forever), given as engagement rings..

2nd ring - claddagh ring..have a cut in the form of two clasped hands, symbolizing trust..kept as family heirlooms, and passed from mother to daughter...used as betrothal and wedding ring..

3rd rings - celtic knot wedding ring..will be used as wedding ring...every ring has its own unique features with its own meaning...photo below shows the trinity knot (an individual strand and wraps in into and onto itself) symbolized the way in which three separate essences (The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) vitally interconnected..it also symbolize the weaving together of two lives...

# for me, the first two rings are the most important...the scottish rings?? well it depends on my gra geal mo chroi...if he wants us to follow the scottish tradition, then i will have all the three rings...but im surely, we didnt...why?? if we did follow the tradition then he will wear kilt on our wedding day...btw, kilt is a BIG NO-NO for him...hehe..

# if only i marry that scottish man...cheers...:)

wedding theme...

there's only me...myself...n i...in my family...who's not married yet...
one of my geng and my cousin....both will settle down this nov...

YEAH....

this yr will be my yeah2-ing yr...yeah2-ing for both marriages...and many other things...

hehe...can i say 'im jealous??"...
honestly...im pretty jealous actually...and who doesnt, right??
im not sure when my time is...
soon...i guess...haha

my friend did asked me...
my friend: i want a garden theme wedding...u??
me: me?? (rolling eyes...) hhhmmmm i dont know...
my friend: what??? every girl have their own wedding fantasies...and u didnt have any???
me: ok i will think of 1 theme later k...when the time comes...

years later...many of my friends were settled down n have their own babies...
me???
im still struggling in my study...and still have no wedding fantasies...

for me, i will have my wedding fantasies when the time really is coming...
but now, i do have my wedding theme...
eventhough im not engaged to any man yet...

# dear friend, u know how much i cherish our friendship...and i heard a lot about your wedding theme...and u asked me a lot about mine...so here's the answer...i will give u every details of my future wedding...for starter, my wedding theme...

for sure...English style...

purple...purple...purple...green just for freshness...

purple is a must...peacock just for fun...

icy lilac, rasberry, amethyst - color range...

# photos taken from wedding high...the ultimate irish wedding blog...

post in english pun kena tegur?? apa kes???

manusia ada otak n ada mulut...
mmg susah mau control otak n mulut manusia..

ada sorg kwn ni...aku btul2 x tau la knapa dgn dia ni...
dia p ckp dgn kwn ku sorg psl blog aku...
then aku tnya la knpa dgn blog aku...
ni ya reason nya...

dia: blog c afen namanya ja pengikut sabahan blogger la, wsb la, n yg follow sume pun org msia, tp c afen post english pla...lupa daratan ka dia tu?? da tu byk lg postnya psl bfnya...tp bfnya nda jua pena komen2 d post cinta dia tu...ceh, klu aku la ada blog aku nemau la post english..aku mau kekalkan bahasa melayu aku...mcm tembirang oo kn dia...bila dia bkomen dgn blogger len pndi pla dia gna melayu...eeee geli eh...

aduh tlng la...sot kn ada kwn mcm ni...
nsb bek dia kwn if bkn kwn hbs da aku sindir...
aduh afen sabar ja la...

so aku mau tnya...
slh ka aku post in english???
lupa daratan ka aku if aku post in english???
tembirang ka aku???

# this particular note (here) is for u my dear fren...aku tau ko akn bca jua blog aku ni...coz aku kwn ko kn...aku tau ko nada blog...if ko brani ko bt la ba blog melayu ko...aku ada jua ba post in malay mgkn ko ja nda prasan...psl bf ku tu aku nda la kesa ko mau ckp apa...dia mmg x blog coz dia full-time keja...tp aku tau wpn kmi jau n dia lgsg x fhm melayu, aku tau dia bca blog aku wpn dia x komen...psl komen ku dgn other blogger, aku komen malay if post dorg malay n aku komen english if post dorg english...doesnt matter as long as the other blogger understands me...english ok ka x, this isnt an english class, so wtf...i just be myself...cheers...love u fren...:)

top 5 important three-words...

These three-words (for me) are the most important words everyone should be able to say...and not to forget, really, really, really, really mean it...

1) i love you...

obviously, everyone can say it...but truly mean it?? depends on u...i love u mom, i love u dad, i love u bro, i love u sis, i love u friend, i love u honey, i love u hubby, i love u wifey...etc...when someone telling you that he/she loves you, you will automatically feels appreciated, wanted and not to forget loved...if that's what you may feel, then start saying i love you to people that you love...they may feel the same as you...

* to my gra geal mo chroi, get well soon n i love u...

lelove

2) i miss you...

what will you feel when your special someone texting you calling you and say "i miss you"?? 

when my gra geal mo chroi spent three weeks in spain for his business without calling me, texting me...once he got back to scotland, he called me and without saying hello, he said "i miss you..."...i was so damn in love with him...i cant explained my feeling...i miss him damn much...

so, it doesn't matter if it is 3 weeks or 5 mins, as long as u feel that u miss someone, then tell him/her how much u miss them...trust me, that person will be speechless....

lelove

3) im so sorry...

people say that someone need humiliation before being able to say that they are sorry...we are human...and obviously, nobody's perfect...we made mistakes or failures...so we have to admit it...

back in May, i had spent 2 weeks of hell in n.z with my sis n her friend...that friend was so damn annoying...why?? because she made millions of mistakes but she didnt admit that she was wrong...when i asked her why she didnt admit on the first place, she yelled back at me...as if im wrong...whatever...
so, if you are wrong just say 'im so sorry'...it changes everything...

google

4) i thank you..
wishing 'i thank you' shows your gratitude...it shows your appreciation...isnt it good when someone you helped wishing you thank you? you will feel appreciated...so dont let others say thank you to you but you didnt wanna say thank you to those who help you...

google

5) God bless you...
God bless you...my favourite...should i say more?? im sure u know what this words make u feel...

google

# the words are randomly pick and randomly rank...cheers :)

how can i handle this????

omg...

how can i handle this???

ops...

how can i handle THESE???

kakiku nda mampu mau bdiri apa lg blari...

tanganku nda mampu mau sentuh pa lg pegang...

otakku nda mampu mau bfikir pa lg berehat...

kusutnya...gila...

problem...problem...problems...

btul2 la aku ni the human magnet of problem...

blh ka aku rehat dr problem skejap??? 5 min pun cukup la...

sy mau nangis ooo...

klu mcm ni la kehidupan kn ku tdo selamanya...

d situ manis di sana jua la pahit...

hr ku esok, aku bharap sgt u will be super duper extra gentle to me...

aku bharap aku bgun esok, aku senyum...

wpun dlm ht aku tkt dgn realiti...

mcm2 da aku kena...mcm2 da aku bt...

wpun kdg2 aku lari nda bmksd aku lupa @ penakut..

dear God...

aku nemau jd greedy...

1 ja aku minta, just give me strength...

aku tau aku mampu handle ni...

just give me strength.....n i will be okay...

amen....

betul ka aku??

September 19 birthday interpretation...

- has a willingness...

- prepared to take risks in life...

- successful in any business especially if it's connects with travel and the travel industry...

- calm self-reliance...

- unlikely to bow down and lose way under undue pressure...

- endowed with inherent understanding and appreciation even the most complex problems/situation can be overcome, when given the time and dealt in the most appropriate manner...

- confident in your own ability to be able to deal with any matter/challenge that you may encounter in life...

- have a fascinating charm that intrigues people (able to smooth away the rough edges in order to arrive at uncluttered solutions)...

- able to ironing our problems, tidying things up, streamlining, and refining all forms of matters/undertakings...

- will face numerous occasions throughout your life, where you will have to make a choice between that occasions with your personal relationship...

- will experience a number of tumultuous relationship...

- have strong appreciation for education and not only for the retention of knowledge, but also that of adding thereto your own thoughts, insights and opinions...

- have strong interest in things that are beautiful to the eye...

- critical minds...

- perfectionist...

- difficult to satisfy...

can i trust this???

no no no that is a wrong question...

the right question is...

is this me???

have willingness n prepare to take risk - i am...

i have taken a lot of risks in my life...

including escape exam...who dares to escape exam??? i do...

i did it for the sake of nz...

business in travel - not sure...

calm self-reliance - ME is the biggest motivator, so i guess...yeah...

the next 3 - im not sure...

fascinating charm - hehe, i really like it (if any..)

ironing up problem etc - maybe yes maybe not...but who on earth cant ironing their own prob, right??

1st red - omg...how am i gonna handle this when it comes??

well, kinda face it now...

family vs my lover...is this in???

obviously...i cant choose....now...

maybe later...hehe

2nd red - haish...no wonder i experienced bad relationships...

september 19...is it really u the reason why it all happened??

strong appreciation, interest - hehe who doesnt???

i appreciate education...

n i do interest in beautiful things...

hehe...

critical minds - omg...no wonder, i always have ifs and buts inside my mind...

perfectionist - nobody's perfect, so i guess no...

difficult to satisfy - still, nobody's perfect, so i guess no...

if i say yes, then i'll also a perfectionist, in which im not...

but if i do, then let it be my dirty lil secret...hehe

# ffffuuuuuhhhh.........it is hard to be me.....but up until now, im fine with me...totally fine...eventho i have ups and downs (thanks to september 19), i have ME (my motivator)...n surely i will be okay for the rest of my life...my love, accept who i am, k...:)