tipikal orang kaya....

bila tgk drama melayu ka drama pa2 ja la yg melibatkan jurang kekayaan antara 1 couple kn, trus tertanya2, mmg mcm tu ka gaya/perangai orang2 kaya?

kalau orang x seberapa kaya yang mengaku kaya mcm mana la?

dan, mesti ada famly yg mhalang...

bayangkan bila hubungan kamu dibandingkan dgn hubungan org lain...dibandingkan dr segi kerja dan duit...apa la yg kmu rsa??

bg sy kn, bila org membandingkan dr segi kerja, semua orang pun lalui zaman bekerja...bila semua org lalui zaman bekerja kn semua org tu akan dibayar gaji so mestila berduit kn...

kalau mmg betul mau banding dr segi kerja dan duit, knapa x banding ja brapa lama da 2 psangan ni bekerja kn?? baru la adil...kalau 1 pasangan umur 20-an, while 1 couple lg 30-an, adil ka tu?? x kn...sbb yg 30-an ada bbrapa xtra thun utk bt dorg kaya...mlenkn kalau dorg bekerja pada waktu yg sma biarpun umur berbeza...

tp mmg sy senang ckp @ senang taip d blog...tp bla sy sendri yg merasa sy mgkin akan sakit dada tahan hati...atau mungkin sy nangis smpai mata bengkak...

apa2 pun, kalau sedar diri tu kaya, tlng la ingat umur ko brapa kn, sbb if yg tua bandingkn dri dgn yg muda, kn BODOH namanya tu...lbh bgus if yg muda bandingkan dri dgn yg tua, sbgai motivasi...

sabar ku ada had lah wei!!!!!

missing somebody....Call --->>> i called but nobody picks up, and after the n-th call, i ended up with voicemail because the person switched off the phone...

wanna meet up....Invite --->>> most of the invitations were cancelled due to the person's working schedule...

wanna be understood...Explain --->>> explained carefully what i love and what i hate...and always ended up with "i know and im sorry"...and it continues till countless pages (if only i can write it all down)...

have questions...Ask --->>> since calls are being ignored, i just hope that the texts are read...so i text my question...the answer i get is nothing...checked my phone if it is in silent mode, but it's not...and im still waiting...

dont like something...say it --->>> i do say if i dislike something...and the reaction i get is anger...try to explain but no matter how much water i put onto the fire, its still FIRE, i wish it cools to FiRe or fire or completely fire...but, damn shiall...useless...

like something...state it --->>> yeah this is the one that has no problem...hhhmmm second thought, yes, but it all minor..

want something...ask for it --->>> cried a lot with this part...i ask for understanding, and everytime i will get the silent and simply said "totally forgot"....

love someone...tell it --->>> i love you is the only thing that binds us now...

sometimes we didn't complicate our life...

we call

we invite

we explain

we ask

we say

we state

we tell

but most important thing is - We Hope

we hope he/she answered the phone

we hope that he/she will come and meet us

we hope that he/she understand us after we explained

we hope that we get what we asked for

we hope that he/she remembers our likes and dislikes

we hope that he/she knows that we love them

some person will find that it is not easy for them to initiate the first move...because that person are afraid of what comes next...

but for me, i have/must take the first step...because i need answer...WHY??? 

if your reason is working, then tell me that you are working...you asked me to wait, and i said yes, but you keep me waiting while you fast asleep...is that fair?...i called you, i texted you, full with hopes that you will answer it all, and when i finally get to you, you simply said sorry without any explanation...i dont think sorry is the answer for all my questions...i wonder how hard it is for you to answer my simplest question on earth "have you done with your work?"....or is it my fault too that i put too much hope on you, on us?? if this is the first time, i will be patiently angelic towards you...but this is your i-cant-calculate-it-with-my-fingers-and-toes-anymore time...so where will my patience go? meet the angel? or meet the satan? unfortunately it all scattered to million pieces...and i dont know where it all go...i dont know what to do now...i really dont know what to do now...will i collect the pieces and glue it together? will the 'i love you' still bind us? and if all the pieces are glued, will it be normal? 

whatever i chose to do next, im pretty sure it is not a pristine path...i am tired playing with his game...too tired that it make my eyes sandy...thanks to you...

bertunang??

imagine....bila bf ajak tunang...serius ni dia ajak tunang...perempuan mesti akan excited kan...yela, ppuan mn yg x akan excited kan...

sy x tau mcmn bila llaki ajak tunang...kadang sy tbayang if bf cakap ja dia mau tunang...lpas tu jumpa family bincang...tp kadang sy tfikir yg bf akan propose bg cincin lpas tu jmpa famly bincang date tunang...

if sy ada pilihan, sy x tau mau pilih yg mn...tp pastinya sy mau yg serius hehe...

apa2 pun, setiap orang pastinya ada pasangan masing2...akan smpai 1 msa nti bila stiap org akn perkenalkan  pasangan msg2...n face the journey till wedding day...

#Nervous...

5th January 2013...anger management

dear diary,

today is January 5th 2013...my heart ache like burning, and my brain stop working..

i am being patient, i am in control..

i am afraid to talk thus, i write...

i know i am pissed, inside...

and i know i am verbally quiet...

but, that happened because i am in control...

i am not letting my anger erupts like volcano...

i am not letting my anger control all my senses...

and, i am not letting you know i am angry...

because, i know i can control this...

i just need space, time for me to 'water' myself from all the fires...

and i do hope you understand me...



love,
-afen-

Here's my 2012...

it is the 5th day of 2013...i am sure other bloggers posted their 2012 exactly on new year's day...but i took 5 days to actually log in to my blog...

i owned no diary...i am not sure enough when it happened so i just write here the most memorable days last year...

January -->> my ex-boyfriend and i are really close...i sometimes asked him if we can still be together...but as expected, his answer is no...but in January, i found out that he is still cheating on me even tho we're still friends...so, that day onward, i promised to myself that he is my ex and he is still my best-friend (when i wrote this)... 

February -->> nothing much happened...i just spent my time at home with family before entering my last semester...

March -->> hectic student life

April -->> still hectic student life

May -->> this is the most memorable month of the year...it is when i known a guy, met a guy, fell in love with a guy, be with him and still going strong till now...hopefully till death do us part, amen...

June -->> exam, exam, exam...

July -->> jobless...

August -->> jobless...stayed home with family...and celebrated my boyfriend's birthday somewhere in Sabah hehe...oh and not forget, meet the parents...my boyfriend's parents in tenom...for the 1st time...

September -->> still jobless...mostly stayed home with family, celebrated my birthday with my boyfriend and my family in two separated parties...

October -->> pretty much the same with the 3 months above...and started to think to have a job next year...for the time being, i just wanted to rest from all the student's years i spent..

November -->> counting for christmas and christmas present...

December -->> pre-christmas party, attended wedding, christmas day, and counting for new year...

so, that's my year...my boring year...i spent a lot of my time at home...doing nothing...so in this year, i want to do something for myself...get a job, engagement (maybe) hehe...

i look forward to my coming days, weeks, months this year...i wish for the best, and if i encounter the worst, i will face it to pass it...and for my family, i wish for their health, for my love, i wish for the love to be strong and stable...

huh ko tgk porn ka?? yikes jan kantoi ba...

d metro ada news pasal teenagers addicted to phone porn stories...then, ada lg news psl malaysian couple posted their nude photos + intimate vids in their blog...so, org sekeliling bhabis la ni bckap psl remaja zaman sekarg + mengaitkan nama negara...

besanya, org yg ckp "budak zaman sekarang" ni maksudnya negatif kn...tp bila sy fkr2 blik kn (besala nada keja so bfikir ja la knn keja ku skrg), x bek jua ckp macam tu...i am an adult but am still a teenager inside...

our parents - life dorg moden di zaman dorg but when compare to our life now kn, totally vintage...human are created with brain to think...thus, the earth is modernized each day...

so when it comes to SEX....dulu, sex is taboo...but not now...why? sebabnya, manusia skrg da makin moden...so kta x malu2 lg mau ckp psl sex...even kta pun ada belajar psl sexual behavior, sex pros and cons, sex prevention, etc...

so back to the news in metro, jan la simply said "budak zaman sekarang"...alasan sy, words tu tlalu negatif...org2 skrg kena la ingt...tech yg kta ada skrg ni tcipta sbb:

1) panas jua ni dunia, klu mcm ni la sllu mati la sy -->> maka tcipta nya air-cond...
2) gila mau p KL kena belayar 5 hari!! ingt kapal tu titanic ka yg besar blh bw ramai org, klu sy lpar mcmn?? --->> maka tciptanya kapal terbang...
3) kemarin surat x...hr ni pun surat x...bsuk confirm x...thun depan kli bru smpi --->> maka tciptanya SMS..murah lg tu 1sen ja per sms...mn mo cari...
4) astaga sy lupa bw buku telefon sy...mn sy hafal nma c anu bin c anu...cis, x dpt dating ni hr...--->> maka tciptanya contact d stiap hp, so x pyh lg mau hfl mau bw buku sgala...
etc...

makanya, dr negatif thasilnya ssuatu yg bru kn...tp tu untk tech...tp manusia?? klu sy kn, mkin negatif mkin tu sy bt...besala, aku kn curious...slama aku hidup, aku x blh kira sdh brapa byk benda yg "ep-no-no" sdh ku bt...so, aku tau la yg larangan adala 1 usaha yg sia2...

bla ckp "besala bdak zaman skrg"...mkin menjadi2 tu...so, next time ckp la "besala budak baru blajar"...hehehe yala, dorg belajar so mestila ada praktikal...tp praktikalnya silap smpai kantoi...

remaja2 yg ska tgk porn sites ka, ska bt porn vid as if dorg tu porn stars ka, bt la lg...tp jan la sampai kantoi..sbb dorg ni la punca remaja skrg ni mberontak...mberontak sbb dorg dlarang bt apa ja yg dorg mau dgn alasan parents takut dorg bt perkara x senonoh...well parents, u have to trust ur kid...teenagers prone to rebel...takn korg mc x tau kn...korg pun pena jua muda remaja hehe...mesti jua parents pena search mn2 utk tau what sex is kn...so better, confront la ur kid...since sex is not a taboo anymore kn, its easier for modern parent to say it out loud...haha...drpd dorg p bt praktikal trus bek ckp dgn dorg awl2 kn...klu parents bt mcm ni, x la org akn ckp "budak zaman skrg"...

# reason sy tulis entri ni --->> my mom bla-bla-bla this...bla-bla-bla that...to my nephew yg skrg ada cewek da...sy da ckp dgn my mom "kc biar la dorg...mau lrg nti mkin mjadi...klu mau kc ingt dorg da tblh ingt sdh tu...dorg blm teruk lg...n pastinya dorg x akn truk pun...men yakin ja ba..."...so, from this day onward, sy akn kantoi...alamak, tlbh sdh...LOLz....

ingt!!! jgn smpai kantoi!!!

jgn la tanya sy bla sy mau kwin...

dlu msa masi d U...org akn tanya...bla hbs blajar??

skrg bla da graduated...kena tnya...keja sdh??

but, now...im 24...just graduated...org da mulai tnya...bila nak kwin??

cba la ckp "wah, blh kwin sdh ko..."...rather than tnya sy bla mau kwin...coz sy x jwpn bla sy kwin...n sy pun x tau d mn sy blh dpt tu jwpn...mau tnya bf bikin malu ja...dia sendri pun confirm x tau bla dia mau kwin tba2 sy pla yg p tnya ni...

apa2 pun sy ska jua ba kena tnya...sbb asl kena tnya confirm sy ckp "ba p la cri sy sorg yg ngam..blh sy kwin trus dgn dia kn..."...

tp klu sy kena tnya lg solan 'bla mau kwin' ni bsuk onward, sy akn jwb "on the way"...well, sabahan kan sllu ckp "we are on the way"...oppa sabah style la knn...hehhee

we are young...XD