well, my forever best-est best friend is my mom...she knew everything about me...we are so damn close...i almost cry when we talked about this bullshit...
i dont really care what others might think of me...because i live for me not for them...whatever decisions i made or will make is basically for my own good...
did they ever consider about me when they made decisions in their life before? obviously, NO...
do they will think of me as part of their decisions next? obviously, NO...
because they are who they are...they live for themselves...they made decisions for their own good...and any problems they encountered stayed in their freaking mind until they find the perfect solutions...
and thats what happened to me too...FYI, it happens all the time...who said life isnt about ups and downs? those who didnt experienced the wheel of life, are not human...
i do have my own problems...lots of it...some i found the perfect solutions...some i found so-so solutions...while some i cant even think of any way out...oh not to mention the pending problems...gosh...
im studying not working...so, obviously money is the major problem...i knew it will be my problem since i studied in matric...thus, i learned how to control my money flow...i seldom asked money from anyone mostly my family unless if i really needed it...i seldom asked my family to buy me things unless if they offered then i will say yes...my money source is my parents...i know how much my dad's monthly income...i know how much will my dad pay for utilities each month...and i know how much money left...and i do know how much will i get from it...
i do really sorry for my parents...i feel like im leech-ing their money out...i always wanted to stop my parents from giving me money...but, they will always give...if they asked me if i still have enough money, sometimes i did lied to them, and said i have enough...but inside my purse, its lesser than enough...
after the conversation with my mom, i think of quitting uni...i can always apply back to study...and will look for a job to please everyone...and for the first time, my motto of "live for my own" is useless...how can i study happily and peacefully if im the leech?
if i have kids one day, i will always support them if they want to further their study...thats what my parents did to me and thats what i will do...i know my mom wanted me to further my study, but i cant because others might not like it...its not easy to please everyone...but for the time being, quitting is the best way out...cause i dont wanna be the leech in anybody's eyes...
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