morning all...XD

ola...good morning...n happy saturday...

time now is 7.10am...im in my bedroom...n i am an insomnia...

i dont want to admit...i set my mind that i was not having insomnia...i just feel fresh...

but i was totally wrong...

my name is INSOMNIA....

do you know how much i hate it???

do you know how much i envy you sleeping???

do you know how much i wanted to sleep???

uncountable...

i tried everything i could...

pause every playing thoughts inside my sleepless mind...

put handphones few feet from me while im trying to sleep...

stay away from wires, laptops, books...

focus on sleeping...

thinking of calm situations...

bla...bla...bla...

im still awake now...damn...

eventhough my name is INSOMNIA (with capital letters), im thankful that i still breathing...

eventhough my name is INSOMNIA, and i have zombie eyes, im still thankful...

eventhough my name is INSOMNIA, and feel tired without sleeping for 2 days, im still thankful...

for those who can sleep at night, do sleep some minutes or hours for me k...

n for those who can sleep at night, do hope for me sleeping on my own normally coz im sure you all do not want me to steal your few minutes or hours from you for my own sake...hahaha you still have your own things to do right...so just do hope i can sleep normally...like a baby...zzzzZZZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ko stalking aku ye???!!! S@#T!!!!!

back in 2009, aku added sorg ni d fb...namanya J (bkn nama sebenar)...dia add then aku nada fkir lg aku knl ka x lelaki ni, aku men hentam ja approved...

then, one day, kmi chat...waktu tu mc lg on chat coz virus chat blm lahir lg...msa kmi chat, instinct aku kuat sgt bgtau aku yg dia ni xbf aku...coz cara dia chat, n the way he asked sma ni mcm xbf ku...pastu aku tnya la dia, if dia ni xbf aku ka x, dia ckp bkn....then aku tnya lg if dia kenal xbf aku, dia ckp dia lgsg x knl...

aku mmg sdh syak dia xbf aku...then aku pun chat la psl xbf ku dgn dia...sja ja mau tau how he reacts...aku ada bgtau jua, yg aku sdh jmpa lelaki len, yg jau lbh bek dri dia...

reaction dia ternyata cool...way too cool than i'd expected...so aku pun buang la sume syakwasangku tu...

then, last week, aku accidentally terjumpa profile fb xbf ku...then aku p la msg dia...aku msg dia yg aku mau kmi bbek la for the sake of our friendship since primary school...aku msg jua whatever happened between us, should be forgotten n forgiven...then he accepted it and added me as friend in fb...aku approved ja la since the air between us clear as crystal...

then, bla da friends tu aku chek la our mutual friends...and there i found J...aku puzzled skejap...c J ckp dia lgsg x knl xbf aku, then what the heck he is in his friend list??? aku chek lg friendlist c J, and there i found gf bru xbf ku...n for sure xbf ku pun ada skali...n abg xbf ku...

slama ni aku x pena mau busy body p chek my friend's friendlist...tp las week, aku 1st time p check...2 thun ooooo sume tu actually ada d depan mata ku...tp aku ja x perasan...

then, aku p tnya both J n my xbf...xbf x mgaku e2 dia, while c J mengaku sdh yg dia knl xbf ku n dia create tu profile untk kacau aku n untuk ikt perkembangan aku...

on the same time c J mgaku tu, xbf ku pun mengaku dia ada another fb profile...tp dia bkn mgaku dgn aku tp dia mgaku dgn besfren ku...besfren ku la yg bgtau aku...

i made 2 assumptions...1) c J is actually my xbf...n 2) c J is actually gf bru xbf aku....n for sure, c J bkn org len...dia must be either xbf ku @ ceweknya...

n then, bru la aku realized yg c J ni added sume kwn lelaki ku d fb...mmg stalker la dia tu kn...dia mau mcari which is my current bf...

pastu aku trus la p msg sume mutual friends between aku n c J supaya delete c J dr fb dorg...coz for me the stalking should be stop a.s.a.p...

wpn aku syak xbf n wpn aku blh trus ja bgtau dia, tp aku x mau lg kmi gaduh2 psl fb ja..c J pun x jua kacau sgt just stalking so im cool with it...

aku pena tnya dia d fb 'who r u?' then dia letak tu d about me "who r u? hidup dan mati ku hanya untuk mu"...

aku x tau apa motifnya dia bt mcm tu...

if dia xbf ku then x pelu la kn mau stalking lg since kmi da bbek...

n if dia cewek xbf ku then stop the gossip (if any)...coz its cheap...

#aku ingtkn fb nada la stalker knn, tau2 ada pla...siap mengaku lg...so jan la kmu jd stalker k...just b urself...n show urself to others...no need to pretend...cheers...XD

my cuti2 uni...

x lma lg start kuliah da...lps ni kena la mkn mknn cafe lg...bkn home cook meal...

blh ka if aku bgtau yg aku masih mau cuti lg???

haish mcm org yg x mhargai la pla kan...

apa2 pun, these last few days before im heading back to uni, i have to change everything...

if dlu d campus, jam 12 mesti baring da, spya blh bgun awl the next morn p attend lectures am - pm...since cuti2 uni, aku jd nite guard...kdg aku x tdo lgsg mlm then ptg bru tdo...itupun 2@3 hrs nap...skrg sdh jd habit, mcmn mau tukar??? damn...mmg teruk la ni first few weeks mau bgun awl...

wat else, hhhhmmmm, oya...TV...since sdh tukar astro p astro pvr, aku blh rakam da series yg aku ska...so by friday, aku kena balik rmh (MUST) utk tgk tu series...

here is the list : teen wolf, being human, supernatural, game of thrones, downton abbey, keeping up with the kardashians, apa lg ya, mcm aku kira 8...apa lg 2??? biar la dlu...yg pentg ni list aku sdh set p series record...i loike...XD

im learning scottish gaelic....

currently learning mandarin and gaelic...

mandarin = uni, while gaelic = scotland =.=

similarity between those languages, not an easy language (for me)...if u find mandarin is easy then lucky u...i dislike (more to hate but i cant) mandarin, especially writing it...not to mention the tone mark and the chinese form (i forgot what it call) with tons of rules...but for gaelic, i've been interested to learn it since the Lord of The Rings...and now, as i write this, im learning it...im not yet learning to write but im learning to pronounce...

its not an easy task for anyone to learn a new language...and its not an easy days if you learn a new language by force..i have to take mandarin for 3 semesters in order for me to graduate...i wanted to take spanish class but full...gracias...

my first gaelic lesson = learn to say 'you'...

sibh = is use to a stranger, someone in authority, older than you, and plural..

thu = is use to a child, a friend, similar age..

sibh, pronounce as shiph....while thu, pronounce as uu..

conversations will depends on which 'you' you use..

example;

(sibh)      how are you? ------> ciamar a tha sibh? (pronounce: kamar a ha shiph?)
               im fine, thank you --> tha mi gu math, tapadh leibh (pronounce: ha mi ku ma, ta phe leiph)

(thu)        how are you? ------> ciamar a tha thu (pronounce: kamar a ha uu?)
               im fine, thank you --> tha mi gu math, tapadh leat (pronounce: ha mi ku ma, ta phe led)

at first, i was @.@....and i hardly pronounce it...

how to pronounce di atas tu, well, aku bt sendri...mcmn aku dengar itula aku eja spaya senang aku sebut..hehe..btw, im learning to speak not to write...

# bersemangat ni aku cont to lesson no.2...bring it on!!!

Is fheàrr Gàidhlig bhriste na Gàidhlig sa chiste ------> It is better to have broken Gaelic than dead Gaelic...

i present u My Baby...

mins b4 going out - beraya

diff angle of the above pic...

her name is eva xandria...6months old...

do we look alike???

i need a break...a.s.a.p

lately, my days went wild...somewhere between those days, i wished i can say shit loudly to those who really poisoned my days...

i do like to compete...i do like competition...BUT in a positive way...

most of my time, i compete with my own self...i race with a paper in which i wrote my aims...

my aims guide me on every level in life before i achieve the better me...

i will never compete with others on who has the coolest/latest gadgets, who has a handsome partner, who has a perfect wedding with a cost reach the top of kinabalu, etc...

whats the point on participating in that kind of competition??? whats the prize?? 

if someone tell me that he/she has this, he has that, i am ok...as long as he/she didnt compare the things that he/she own with mine...

i am still ok if he/she says positive things about me..and asking me the what if question...but i am not ok, if he/she make the what if question a statement with a tone...without the tone, i am still ok...

one of my aim is to stay positive...but the more positive i am, the more negative thinker nearing me...example, the what if statement with a tone...eventhough i dont like it, i take it as a compliment...

but lately, i received a lot of this kind of compliment...i really need a break from it now...

the negative energy filling me up faster than i thought...

the materialistic type of competition blankets me...

i keep saying to myself "afen, please stay positive, be strong and keep your mouth shut..."

i do want to say "are you jealous??" but then, im not that kind of person...i still keep my mouth shut in order to prevent argument...

btw, i know they were jealous, and with that thought in mind, i manage to stay positive while im in a negative cloud...there is no point to argue with jealousy...

eventhough im hurting inside, but i always let them win...