5th January 2013...anger management

dear diary,

today is January 5th 2013...my heart ache like burning, and my brain stop working..

i am being patient, i am in control..

i am afraid to talk thus, i write...

i know i am pissed, inside...

and i know i am verbally quiet...

but, that happened because i am in control...

i am not letting my anger erupts like volcano...

i am not letting my anger control all my senses...

and, i am not letting you know i am angry...

because, i know i can control this...

i just need space, time for me to 'water' myself from all the fires...

and i do hope you understand me...



love,
-afen-

Here's my 2012...

it is the 5th day of 2013...i am sure other bloggers posted their 2012 exactly on new year's day...but i took 5 days to actually log in to my blog...

i owned no diary...i am not sure enough when it happened so i just write here the most memorable days last year...

January -->> my ex-boyfriend and i are really close...i sometimes asked him if we can still be together...but as expected, his answer is no...but in January, i found out that he is still cheating on me even tho we're still friends...so, that day onward, i promised to myself that he is my ex and he is still my best-friend (when i wrote this)... 

February -->> nothing much happened...i just spent my time at home with family before entering my last semester...

March -->> hectic student life

April -->> still hectic student life

May -->> this is the most memorable month of the year...it is when i known a guy, met a guy, fell in love with a guy, be with him and still going strong till now...hopefully till death do us part, amen...

June -->> exam, exam, exam...

July -->> jobless...

August -->> jobless...stayed home with family...and celebrated my boyfriend's birthday somewhere in Sabah hehe...oh and not forget, meet the parents...my boyfriend's parents in tenom...for the 1st time...

September -->> still jobless...mostly stayed home with family, celebrated my birthday with my boyfriend and my family in two separated parties...

October -->> pretty much the same with the 3 months above...and started to think to have a job next year...for the time being, i just wanted to rest from all the student's years i spent..

November -->> counting for christmas and christmas present...

December -->> pre-christmas party, attended wedding, christmas day, and counting for new year...

so, that's my year...my boring year...i spent a lot of my time at home...doing nothing...so in this year, i want to do something for myself...get a job, engagement (maybe) hehe...

i look forward to my coming days, weeks, months this year...i wish for the best, and if i encounter the worst, i will face it to pass it...and for my family, i wish for their health, for my love, i wish for the love to be strong and stable...