love story part 5...finale...

He chose me - twice….

I gave him another chance – twice…

N again, he cheated on me – countless…

N again, I gave him another chance…another chance…other chances…

I always remind myself that I still love him no matter what his mistakes are....

If u think im patient, yes 75% of our time…but the rest??? Im sorry…

Im sure u knows how much it hurts when u’ve been cheated countless times and yet u still love him…

Why???

I always wondered why I did that???

But lastly I came up with my own conclusion…

“I did that bcoz I believe that the negative actions and bad decisions he made, were just the minor him…but the major him is angel…I love him…n I can accept both his major and his minor…n im hoping that he will change for good…”

Yeah…sigh….

13 months after his graduation…after countless lies came up…after countless chances I gave him…after millions of “I Love U” wishes we exchanged…n after tons of gallons of tears…

I called it QUIT…

Why???

I can’t handle it anymore…im tired of being the superwoman saving our relationship while he keeps on lying…

Real love doesn’t hurt at all…love has its own languages but pain, hurt aren’t one of them…

If only he changed, maybe im still with him…but nobody wants to be changed…except his / her free will…

He texted me, he said to me, that he will changed for good, changed for me…laugh is all I can do…he lost 

my trust…n trust should be gained not given…but he blew all of his chances…

Ever since we broke up, I sometimes think that his next gf would be sooo damn lucky bcoz he’s already changed…n im just his experiment...hehe it’s good right…at least the experiment succeed…

If love = pain, I would not dare to fall in love again…

Consider to fall in love? – Maybe…

Letting go? – Yes…

People sometimes refer those who heartbroken as “people who close their heart’s door, locked it up, n threw away the key…so that someone will find the key n open the door for them someday…”

But for me, my heart is in ‘welcome in’ policy…n never being locked…

Why??? lock-and-find-key policy is sssoooo eeeeuuuwww n ssssooooo yester-century….

But…………………in my ‘welcome in’ policy, any man can enter, b friendly to me, but when it comes to love, he must pass the test below…

•           He must be able to accept the ugly side of me (nobody’s perfect mah…)

N after that….i might be falling in love again….maybe…eeeee tak nak….hehe…no la…I will…someday…

#Love is a friendship on fire…every couple should be able to balance friendship and romance and thus their relationship will last..my x n I still friends…we sometimes texted each other…but we r not on fire…we’re just on friendship…love supposed to end well…but mostly love ends with matrimony…but this particular love of mine is also ended up well eventhough not in a matrimony but in friendship…cheers…

 # for those who read my post from part 1 till part 5, thank u so much…J….next week another episodes bout me coming up…

love story part 4...

7 months later, on his graduation day….

He fetched me up at my hostel….n he brought his mom…

I met his mom for the first time…kinda shy at first…

He was sitting in front with his other course mates waiting for their name to be called…

While me and his mom, chatting, get to know each other… N we became closer…

I texted him asking him when will his turn, where’s the toilet, remind him to be calm, remind him to take some photos while he seated, etc…

He replied all…at first he took time to reply my sms…I asked him “r u bz?”….n he replied “nope, but my credit almost finished…”

Then, I stop testing him…

When the ceremony ended, we had lunch together…

We talked, we laughed….we had a great time together…

Really, really, really great time…

10 mins later….we were at the gas station…he was outside pumping…

Sms came in to his phone…im not a phone-checker…I trust him…so be a phone-checker-gf is a no-no for me…

But, his phone is nokia…n it is still in its inbox…it was bright…n I can c from ****, her msg was “luv u 2”…

Inside me, I was like @#$!%$@%%^&^&!^&*&@*&*@&*!*@*!&@*!^#&%#&…

I was sooo damn pissed….but I have to be triple extra patient...coz his mom was sat at the backseat…

He entered the car…i gave his phone back with the lite-on screen in front of his face…

He read the words…he took his phone…not saying a word…he drove…

I wanna cry…but still I can’t…

On the way back, im totally mute…

His mom asked me “why r u so silent?”…I just sat there silently…while my bf said “she misses me…”

Sigh…

I was being cheated for 8 months…

I was being the 2^nd gf…

I was being called bf-snatcher since secondary…

Am I still a bf-snatcher???

I don’t think so, coz he’s the one who cheating on us…

Hours later…I asked him to give me the other girl’s phone number…

N days later, he finally gave me, after I convinced him that I will not hurt her…

I am a girl…I will not hurting another girl…bcoz for me, hurting another girl is as equal as hurting myself…so I won’t let myself hurt…

Thus, I text the girl, asking for her permission to call…

She said yes…n I called…

We were on the phone for almost an hour…

We knew the truth…

It hurts so bad…so damn bad…

She said she wanna let him go for me…n I said “don’t be la…im the bf-snatcher here…so u stay…”

N she replied “i will let him go for u…u r a bf-snatcher…plz don’t do like this again…u never know that one 

day your husband will be like him…”

I can accept if it’s my bf…but my husband??? I don’t think I can…

I start n end the conversation without hurting anyone…I even apologized to the other girl…it wasn’t my intention to take her bf away…

I let my bf decide again…I let him talked to the other girl…im not pushing him to choose me…

I did say to him that if he chooses me, I will not be like afen-ur-gf before…I lost my trust to him…he was totally losing it…

But 1 thing that isn’t lost is - I still love him…which I didn’t told him that time…

N once again – he chose me…

# the truth is out there n yet to be found…n once again our relationship is being tested…c u all on part 5…

# when ur relationship being tested like this, do stay calm…I know that it’s hurt…but always stay calm…u never know what ur calm can do to you…people always says “peace no war…”…so if u wanna confront the other girl, pls do it peacefully…it is easier for u two to talk…besides, u do this for your love…not for yourself…bcoz love consists of two person, not you alone…if u r called a bf-snatcher, don’t give a damn about that…don’t get mad…just admit…n if u r wrong, just say sorry…

love story part 3...

I know what I want…I wanted to be with him…n so I fight…

I let him choose between me n the other girl…

I let him talked to the other girl…

I don’t wanna lose him…

N most important is – I don’t want my relationship to be blossom from someone else’s happiness…

Since I wanted to be with him – do I have a choice??

I talked to him n asked him what do he want??...

I am sure that the other girl also fights for her love…but it’s nothing compare to what he might decide…

So im not thinking more on the other girl…bcoz I let him to choose…

Hours later…

I am really, really, really sorry to the other girl…

Coz he chose me…

U knows how happy I am when he finally chose me??? It feels just like heaven…

But 7 months later…I can’t dry up my tears…

# What comes next??? I’ll continue it on my next post…

# when u love someone, all u can think of is he/she, right??...when u sleep u’ll think of him/her…when u wakes up, u’ll think of him/her…u went to class with him/her…u went to cinema with him/her…u wanna eat with him…all u do is to be with him/her 24/7…when there is an obstacle, u’ll automatically find a solution and fight…u let ur love decide...if u face with this kind of situation, then don’t confront the other girl…why?? bcoz it shows ur weakness n u let yourself lose while the other girl wins…all u have to do is stay calm and don’t give too much pressure on ur man while he’s doing his work – his decision making part is more important than to know who is the other girl…so do remember y’all, stay calm, don’t be pushy n respect your other half…

source: lelove

love story part 2....

Our first month anniversary…he gave me a present...

He told me that he has another girlfriend…a 1.5 yrs old relationship…

A very unthinkable n yet a nice present, right???...

I asked him “why u didn’t tell me on the first place??? I would not be with you if u tells me about this earlier….”

And he said “I love you…I don’t wanna lose you…

I replied “u love me…u don’t wanna lose me…u love her…n u also don’t wanna lose her, right??”

And he simply said “yes…”

At that time, im not sure what im gonna do…I feel like crying but have no tears…

I regretted the moment I said I will be his friend…coz he’s not a friend I wish I have…

I regretted the moment we arrange the first meeting…coz it makes me hates the place…

I regretted the moment I said I like him…coz it’s so damn embarrassed…

I regretted the moment I texted or said I love him…coz he don’t deserve that…

But…I am not and will not regret the time I spent with him…

Bcoz I like the way I feel whenever im with him…

So what did I do next???

I fight….I fight for my love….I fight for me…and I fight for us…

This is so damn hard for me to handle…but I have to…he’s my boyfriend n I love him…

N I wondered if I ever succeed….

# To be continued…

# When u encounter with this kind of situation in your relationship, u have to ask yourself…what do you want???...what do you want???...what do you want???...if u want to be with him, then u have to fight…fight until u have him…fight until u succeed…if u want to be with him but u didn’t have the guts to fight, then u have to question yourself if u love him or not???...

love story part 1....

Let me tell u a secret about me…..

Less than two years ago, a man texted me….”will u b my friend?”….n I replied “yeah, sure, no prob…”…

He texted me…I texted him back…he called me…I called him back…one day, we arranged a meeting….n we met…

He’s handsome…a murut + Chinese guy…taller than me…n also a student…

Then, 1 day, I told him that I like him… (n I forgot what else did I said to him that night…huhu)…

Im not really a type of girl who will be the first to say “I like you” to a man…but I did…bcoz i like him…at first I was shy…I was afraid that he might not have the same feeling with mine…n I was way too scared of rejection…

He took a few minutes to give me his response…

I thought that his silence means denial…

But then, he said he likes me too…

N from that day onwards…we r officially a couple…

# for those who’s still aching by liking someone and not doing anything about it…go tell them, forget your fear, n go fall in love…u have to push yourself…worst thing can happen when u tell but an amazing thing will also happen when you tell…if he or she doesn’t feel the same way then don’t be worry…at least u feel damn awesome about telling he or she how special they are to you…n it will be amazing if everything goes well…n one thing to remember though, everybody hurts someday, the feeling by the thought of losing he or she is as awful as not having he or she at all…so, go tell them!!!!! Im crossing my fingers for you…

# my story n advice will be continue on my coming post….so see y’all later….

what once is now.......by mastin kipp

What once was broken, is now made whole.

It didn’t cost a thing, no need to pay the toll.

Congratulations to the energetic, for living from their soul.

If it wasn’t for them, we’d just stay here and get old.

What once was one, is now made into two.

It used to be broken, but has been made new.

Humble thanks for the inspiration, to see the bird’s eye view.

Without you, Father, we’d never know what to do.

What once was a burden, is now turned into gold.

Don’t worry one bit, no matter what you’ve been told.

Peace and forgiveness, will break you out of the mold.

To let go of the past, and from now on be bold.

What once was a question, is now a solution.

What starts as a problem, turns into revolution.

By the young and the wise, to promote evolution.

Always pushing us forward, to find resolution.

What once was hidden, is now brought into the light.

It’s not as scary, as you think that it might.

Newfound recognition for, this new day’s night.

We’ll fall asleep knowing, that everything’s all right.

a brother....i wished i had...

dear diary,

i've known someone...

n met him...

he's older than me....

n we're friends...

@ 1st i kinda like him...

but when we actually met, 

i felt like he's a brother to me...

not that im not like him after we met...

i still like him...n even more when i felt that,

he's a brother whom i wished i had...

im the youngest in my family...

7 siblings altogether....n i have 6 sisters...

i can get all the advice i want from my sisters...

but, since my friend n i talked about family...

n i asked him a few questions....

n some of it i did asked my sisters...

brother-ly n sister-ly advice r totally different...

i know he wasnt my biological brother...

but his advice was based on his experiences...

uuuuuu i forgot, the questions mainly bout relationship, in general...

thus, it opens me up...

why???

let it be my secret....hehe

*hint: mars and venus r different...

btw...i love my sisters....

manukan.....

manukan jetty + its sandy beach

gaya from manukan

im a viewer who's trying to take photo...

but in the end...

im not artistic enough...

but its ok...

sooner or later, i'll be better from yesterday...

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nz....with love...

one day my sis asked me "u wanna join us to nz, since hasnal (her hubby) cant join?"

me: "OK!!!....but when???"

my sis: 4th of may...

me: shit, i have exam la...

...

2 weeks later....

im in Christchurch...

exam...

(wink...wink) 

let it be my dirty little secret...

it was my 1st time in nz...

minutes b4 we land, hills n lil white dots r everywhere...

stunning...

some part of d city - ruined after series of earthquake...

yellow tapes - here n there...

but still beautiful...

days gone by...

the most famous words that came out of me is 'WOW'...n "SHIT"

shit???

why on earth am i saying it???

well, the shit part is i had to spend my beautiful days in nz with....

a lass which i dislike...

she's pretty, she's nice...

but...

she made millions of bad decisions,

she cant read map, whenever i wanna help with the direction, 

she just wont listen..

n we ended up lost...lost....lost...n lost....

im so damn pissed, 

but i have to show some respect to her since she is older than me...

thus, i'd be extra patience...

but hell-to-the-no...

i argued...i just cant stand let my sister drive back n forth, back n forth just to c the road signs...

besides, time is precious n i dont wanna waste it...

i wish i can say sorry to her...

among us 3, im d youngest, n im the 1 who lose temper...wwhhhoooppssss....

enough of the shit part, n now the wow part...hehe

u knew it already...

the view is superbly beautiful...

the people are nice...

the food is good...

the weather is.....hhhhhmmmm.......cold....colder....colder....but not yet coldest...hehe

cheers!!!!

otw to christchurch...

lake tekapo

museum (i guess...)

lake tekapo...

church of the good 

shepherd

me sis n i...hehe

otw to milford sound

mirror lake

lake te anau

somewhere....pic was taken seconds b4 a car arrived...snap n rrruuuunnnn...